For all the positives mothering can bring, there is one aspect we can’t prepare for and often don’t admit……………that aspect is loneliness or isolation!
It is very common for many stay at home parents. When you have a baby, the early weeks/months are taken up with mostly the baby’s needs of feeding, play and sleep (along with some must attended to chores!)
However, in a relatively short space of time you are more confident and capable with parenting than you actually are thinking!!! And before too long craving social contact or “normalcy”. No, not just on Instagram or Facebook or a telemarketing salesperson But, actual human contact – even “Covid Normal” human contact!! Often partners have set just one foot into the house at the end of their paid working day & we are talking nonstop “AT” them as we crave adult/social interaction!
It’s just another aspect you cannot plan or prepare for because no one knows how they are going to be affected until they are “there”. Equally we can be thrilled or disappointed by support from family and friends when you have a baby. Their life appears to continue merrily along whilst yours appears to be on hold. Speaking openly & honestly with your partner but also family and friends – it may not solve your isolation but it certainly makes them aware of how life is for you at the moment. Very often stories in the media or socials do not portray this side of mothering. A number of reports are written through “rose coloured glasses” and it can make the reality seem “abnormal” which of course it isn’t!
Your life may never be in synch with others, but it will be in sync for your family and your family’s needs! And that is what is important! The great thing is that once you’ve recognised an issue, you can take steps to help counteract it. For this example: perhaps groups, whether First Time Parents group or playgroups, a class at the gym or local community centre where there are child minding facilities, this will be the first step in feeling like life is “returning to normal” after you have birthed your baby.
However, as you transition form being a couple to being a family – there are many, many, many resources/professionals out there to help you navigate this path that you have now embarked on. You just need to ask your Maternal & Child Health nurse (or equivalent in your State) or your Gp – don’t EVER feel you are parenting on your own!