Information is power, so is a plan, but childbirth is more like the weather than a project to manage.

Story by Dave Goodley & Hayley Walkinshaw

We had a flawless pregnancy overseen by a private midwife. We intended on having a homebirth and after attending the Calmbirth course, felt well prepared for meeting the task of labour and birth. A large part of that was our belief that birth is a physiological event, not a medical one. Unfortunately, that view would be challenged.

Having coasted past our due date a week prior and with the baby in the “perfect position” we engaged in what we’ll call “cervix ripening”. Six hours later, Hayley’s waters broke, and we eagerly awaited established labour. And we waited.

Assured by our midwife that she needn’t be involved until further down the line, we went about our business, not participating in early labour. She visited that afternoon and advised us to relax; hopefully labour would start soon.

The next day and a full 30 hours later, cramps graduated to regular contractions. It was 10am. Surely, we would be parents by that evening. We kept the blinds closed, heated the birth pool and queued the playlist. Hayley had diligently prepared for “her grand final” with a combination of regular mobility exercises, good nutrition, perineal massage, breathing and meditation, so we expected things to unfold normally.

Our midwife was pleased that labour was progressing. Contractions intensified across the afternoon and evening, and we shuffled between Calmbirth strategies, the TENS machine and active birth positions on the birth ball, in the birth sling and later on in the pool. Our midwife was close by, and we called her over at about 10pm when Hayley was getting tired, and the pain was only getting worse. At this point she gave us options; persist with an unknown end point or have a cervical examination and decide whether we might need to “go in”.

Our aim was never to have a home birth. Our aim was to have a safe birth, preferably at home. But we were against unnecessary interventions. We were very well informed about the disgraceful amount of avoidable birth trauma that occurs in hospitals. The public inquest into birth trauma had been in the media that week. The examination revealed that despite 30 hours of pre-labour and 12 hours of gruelling established labour, Hayley was 3-4cms dilated and our babies head was posterior, deflexed and lateral. Our midwife explained that due to this position, the cervix was not getting stimulated enough to open. In other words, his perfect position was no longer. We had half-heartedly packed a hospital bag the day before, not thinking we would have to use it.

Armed with the Calmbirth strategies and wonderfully led by our midwife, we went to hospital and were taken straight to maternity. Our midwife was confident that with some pain relief and rest, we would be able to deliver vaginally. We had a new plan, but we were ok with it. A shot of morphine may as well have been saline and by 2am we decided on an epidural, some desperately needed sleep and a regroup in the morning. The baby and Hayley were both healthy and well. We were calm and so was the baby.

The obstetrician didn’t share our optimism. In her view, the lack of amniotic fluid, the positioning of the baby and the stagnant labour meant the baby wasn’t going to come voluntarily.  On top of this, Hayley’s blood test showed an increase in white blood cells which indicated an infection may be present.

At 9am, 23hours of labour later, reassured by our midwife, we tearily decided that a caesarean was the right call. I have corrected people since that it wasn’t an emergency caesarean, it was the best option for a safe birth after trying all other options available to us.

We had another new plan, and we were ok with this one too because we were finally about to meet our baby. The procedure went well, and our beautiful baby boy joined us 55 hours after Hayley’s waters broke; healthy and well. The hospital respected our wishes to decline giving him antibiotics and unnecessary blood tests once his observations were normal.

It wasn’t the home birth we planned or hoped for, but it was how our birth worked out and we are proud we stayed calm and informed the whole way through despite facing a few challenges. If we’re lucky enough to get pregnant again, we’ll still aim for a homebirth. Our midwife tells us second babies are usually a lot more cooperative. But if that doesn’t work out, we’ll have this positive experience to fall back on. In birth as in life, after a few (thousand) deep breaths, most problems work out just fine.