It truly was the best day of our lives…

The birth of Jagger

In the weeks leading up to meeting our baby, I focused on engaging in oxytocin-boosting activities, as we had discussed in our Calmbirth course with Amy. For me, this meant spending plenty of time at our favorite spot, Lake Eildon—swimming, enjoying delicious food, indulging in Gold Class movies, attending Reformer Pilates most days, taking long walks, and spending hours in the kitchen preparing nourishing meals to freeze for postpartum. I also made time for stretching, using the fitball, listening to my birth playlist on repeat, and enjoying relaxing massages from Hayden whilst reading my personalised birth affirmations which my friends had made for me.

Although the much anticipated due date passed, we had mentally prepared ourselves for the possibility of being pregnant for 42 weeks, or even a little bit longer. I kicked off the day with a pilates class, followed by a relaxing day trip to Lake Eildon for a swim.

On the 28th of January (40+4), I woke up and jokingly thought to myself, maybe the baby is waiting for fresh bed sheets, so I decided to change them. Afterward, I headed to my Pilates class, staying fit and active had been important to me throughout my pregnancy. In my third trimester, I also began using my breathing techniques to help me through the more challenging exercises. Later that afternoon, Hayden and I went for a long, slow walk, and I added some curb walking to the mix. We enjoyed a delicious dinner of eye fillet and veggies, and afterward, I relaxed on my fitball, listening to my birth playlist while sipping what, unknowingly, would be my last cup of raspberry leaf tea.

Anyone who knows us well knows that we’re always in bed by 8-8:30pm, so, as usual, we settled in for the night. For weeks, each time I lay down, I’d wonder, could tonight be the night? And sure enough, I had that thought again. Within half an hour of lying in bed, I felt a cramp, similar to a period pain. Unsure of what it was, I decided to stay awake and see if it happened again. Ten minutes later, I felt it again… and then, as if on cue, another ten minutes passed, and I felt it once more!

I bring my heat pack to bed every night, so I decided to quickly reheat it and try to relax as much as possible between the cramps. I’d often told other women to try to ignore the cramps until they couldn’t anymore, so that’s exactly what I did. I popped in my AirPods and played meditation music all night, which surprised me since I usually can’t stand music without lyrics. The cramps would come and go, gently rousing me from my rest throughout the night.

It wasn’t long before I had to start breathing through the cramps, and at times, I couldn’t help but be vocal. I reheated my heat pack several times throughout the night and may have snuck in a chocolate hot cross bun or two! (I’m not sure why they’re on the shelves in January, but I certainly wasn’t complaining!) I remember reminding myself that this could go on for a while, so I tried to conserve my energy as best I could, rolling from my left side to my right with my pregnancy pillow between my knees.

I took small sips of water throughout the night, and each time I reheated my heat pack, I made sure to use the opportunity to go to the toilet. I noticed a bit of mucous discharge, and I knew then that my baby was on their way. As morning approached and the sun rose, I anticipated my hormones would shift, and I’d likely experience a bit of a break in the cramps. They had been coming every 5-15 minutes overnight but I was mindful of not looking at the clock too much. I managed to get about an hour of uninterrupted rest between 5-6am. I told Hayden it was probably best for him to stay home from work, so he made arrangements with his apprentice, then he took our dog, Brax, on a long walk to tire him out. I also messaged my good friend, Sarah, during the night to let her know I’d been up all night contracting, as I knew she had a morning shift. I told her to go ahead and work as planned and I would keep her updated throughout the day. I did the same with my mum.

By the time Hayden returned from his walk, I was becoming quite vocal during the contractions, though they were still irregular in their frequency. I was hungry, so I had some watermelon and Vegemite toast in bed while Hayden set up the birth pool and prepared our birth space in the lounge. I messaged my midwife, Kirsteen at 9:10am to give her a heads-up that today was most likely the day but I was managing well and felt reassured by baby’s movements throughout the night. She called me for a chat, and I planned to update her later in the day when things became more intense.

I took a long, hot shower and even managed to wash my hair, then somehow managed to braid it—without a contraction interrupting me!

Around midday, I messaged Sarah to ask if I should put on my TENS machine, as things were starting to feel much more intense. She reassured me that the TENS machine was always a good idea. I then began using it alongside my heat pack and started to labour in my birth space, no longer in bed.

Hayden updated Kirsteen, letting her know that things had become much more intense and that Sarah had left work early to come over and be with us. Kirsteen suggested she head over before peak-hour traffic. Sarah arrived first, and Hayden recalls they shared a big hug at the door, this immediately helped him feel at ease. Kirsteen arrived shortly after, and the two of them started filling the birth pool and preparing a few other things. I remember asking Hayden, “Why are they getting the birth pool ready when I’m still in early labour?” In hindsight I was definitely in active labour, if not already in transition by the time they arrived (appx 3-3:30pm).

By this point, the contractions were strong and regular, at times it was hard to tell when one was ending and the next was beginning. I was very vocal and experiencing intense bouts of vomiting.

The most comfortable position was lying on my left side on the couch, still using my heat pack and TENS machine. Kirsteen listened to baby’s heartbeat and suggested I try water immersion, reassuring me that I could get in and out of the pool as I needed.

I lasted in the pool for about half an hour, but I felt it wasn’t hot enough for me and preferred the warmth of my heat pack. So, I got out, dried off, and returned to lying on my left side on the couch. This surprised me, as I had imagined being upright and mobile, using my fit ball during labour but I never ended up using it once! I remember apologising to Kirsteen for being a “lazy labourer,” since all I wanted to do was lie on the couch. She reassured me, to just do whatever felt most comfortable.

Throughout my entire labour, Hayden remained by my side, offering light touch massage and constant reassurance. Despite my cries of “I can’t do it,” “I’m done,” “this is F@$#%!”and “I’m at my limit,” he stayed steadfast. Soon, I began to feel pressure and instinctively started making grunting sounds.

I vividly recall Kisteen stepping back to call my second midwife, Shelley, to come, while Sarah also stepped away to check in with my mum and see how far away she was. But then I had a very powerful contraction and yelled for everyone to come back and be close to me!

After a few more intense contractions, Kirsteen told me she could see the baby’s head. The pressure was overwhelming, but I didn’t quite believe her. My waters hadn’t broken yet, and I assumed the pressure was just from the water bag — I thought the baby was still a while away. But with the next contraction, Kirsteen insisted that if I wanted a waterbirth, I had to get into the pool immediately. I hesitated, not wanting to move, but then Hayden reminded me of everything I had done to get to this point. He reminded me that I had always dreamed of having a waterbirth and urged me, “get in!”

With each contraction in the pool, I felt myself drawing closer to meeting my baby. I don’t remember consciously pushing; instead, I let the power of each contraction guide me, using my breath and voice to carry me through. Just ten minutes after entering the pool, I bought my baby up to my chest, and to our delight, we discovered it was a boy! It had been Jagger all along! He was born at 6:25pm on the 29th of January 2025.

Meeting Jagger was the most incredible moment of our lives. Kirsteen and Sarah stood back to capture the moment, while we were all overwhelmed with emotion, tears streaming down our faces. The relief quickly gave way to a sense of disbelief — I had actually done it! My mum arrived just 16 minutes after Jagger was born, followed closely by Shelley. I then spent the next hour in the pool, soaking in every little detail of Jagger and enjoying his first breastfeed.

I moved to the couch, where Jagger continued breastfeeding. Although I felt some afterbirth cramps, I didn’t have the strength to push out the placenta while lying down. After a while, I got up and sat on the toilet, where I finally birthed the placenta. When we returned to the couch, Hayden cut the umbilical cord.

I was thankful to learn that I didn’t need any perineal sutures and I spent the next few hours enjoying skin-to-skin time with Jagger. We made calls to our immediate family, and of course, I indulged in more chocolate hot cross buns! Hayden had skin to skin with Jagger after we weighed him and I had a shower. We then cozied up in bed, finally settling in as a family of three.

Experiencing labour and birth was nothing short of amazing—it truly was the best day of our lives. Every moment unfolded just as we had imagined, surpassing all our expectations.

We are incredibly grateful for the continuity of care we received from our midwives, Kirsteen and Shelley, at Mamatoto Midwives. No words can truly express our thanks to them and to Sarah for the unwavering support they showed us!