Learning to be open to change in unexpected circumstances in birth and being prepared to pivot.

Story by Mel

After waking to spontaneous rupture of membrane, we headed to the hospital. We had our baby 4 weeks early and we had many pivots throughout our birth plan that were deemed medically necessary. My husband was a wonderful support to me throughout pregnancy, birth and now and remained calm despite my distress, which in turn helped me to cope. We set the mood in our birth room with music, low lighting, few staff and beautiful essential oils. I understood what physiological changes were happening to my body as labour progressed and despite my fears, had some confidence going into birth which certainly helped us to understand our pivots and why. Thank you to Karen for delivering such a wonderful program that helped us to be active in our decision making for the birth of our baby boy

At 3.30 I woke to being all damp. I woke my husband and told him what happened and I called the hospital whilst he woke my adult stepdaughter to update her on the events of the morning. The hospital told me that my membrane had likely ruptured and I needed to go hospital to be checked. We made the hour long trip and we were sent straight to a birthing room. I went to the bathroom and tried to freshen up and I found that the cramping had begun. I wouldn’t have known about the journey of labour and its various stages without Calmbirth. I was checked by a doctor to advise me that my cervix was closed, but that there was a lot of fluid, consistent with membranes having ruptured. Unfortunately whilst I was being checked, I had what I thought was a strong contraction and this set the scene for a painful experience. In hindsight, that contraction was very mild.

We were transferred to a birthing room room that had a bath and I began to find walking very difficult with cramping and contractions being erratic in both pain and frequency. We set ourselves up in the room and I was checked again, roughly 3 hours after my last check. I was 3 cm dilated. The pain was increasing and I told my husband that I wanted to go home. Apparently that wasn’t an option. I was offered nitrous oxide as a gas and that was awesome at first, till it most definitely was not. Side effects may include nausea. Thankfully that wave passed.

My lower abdomen was aching from the contractions and I remembered Karen saying in Calmbirth that there was nothing wrong with choices made through labour, and how we should be open to change in unexpected circumstances, and be prepared to pivot.

Well didn’t I feel like a ballerina! I had my birth plan (conveniently left at home), where I wanted no medical intervention, no pain relief, certainly no epidural, or episiotomy. I was not having this baby on my back or on a bed. I went into that birthing room empowered by my body and the amazing things it could do. Unfortunately, pregnancy helped me forget how intense my period pain was, so when I had contractions, they were debilitating. I quickly opted for a morphine injection, which eased the pain somewhat, but those contractions got stronger! I ended up requesting an epidural, as the pain was excruciating.

My poor husband held on and encouraged me so much. He was supportive and by my side the entire time. We listened to music from our wedding day, with all the beautiful songs playing that celebrated our love. We played our Baby’s playlist that we had played for Bub each night before bed.

Once the epidural took effect, I was able to have conversations, and to feel comfortable again. I was desperately concerned when I was informed that the fetal monitoring hadn’t worked well, but baby was in distress, necessitating the use of instruments. I requested suction in place of forceps, which was disputed and rejected by the junior OB and the elder midwife. Thankfully my husband and younger midwife advocated fiercely for me, and we tried suction twice with no success. I had a local anaesthetic and was given an episiotomy. I also wound up with a second degree tear. I bore down and pushed for what felt like forever and our son was born and plopped on my chest. He was quiet, looking about and didn’t appear to be breathing well. After my husband cut the umbilical cord our baby was whisked to the resuscitation trolley and given intervention to clear the airways and a CPAP to help breathe better.

I wasn’t offered, but was told that I was having Pictocin, due to strong concerns of blood loss once baby arrived. This frustrated me after reading my discharge summary, as average blood loss in a natural birth is 500mL. My blood loss was estimated at 250mL. I laid on the bed, chatting away to the OB, much like I’d make small talk with a shop keeper, when I am quite a bashful person who never exposes themselves, I was naked with a towel over my tummy, everything else on display for the world to see. Our baby was returned to my chest after 20 minutes and we had about 2.5 hours of uninterrupted golden hour time, where my husband helped me to feel comfortable and I was supported.

Despite not having many of the plans I had taking effect, including my much wanted water birth, I was able to understand the path of labour and understood how changes were taking place in my body and how to work with them rather than blind fear at a totally new experience. I knew that my plan was subject to change, depending on what was medically necessary, and was more content to go with the flow thanks to Calmbirth. Yes, birth was a traumatic experience for me and I’m sure my husband as well, but we worked with the pivots and have a beautiful baby boy as a result.

My experience with the public hospital I delivered in was not patient centric, I found the maternity ward a very sterile and regimented place. I am a first time Mum and was unceremonially told at 7.30pm on a Sunday night that I was being discharged, despite my son remaining in the special care nursery, my well documented mental health concerns, lack of confidence and not being able to confidently breast feed my son. I pointed out these issues and was treated as if I was an ant at a picnic. I pointed out that I live an hour away from the hospital and this concern was also dismissed. I went down to the SCN and on my return was greeted by a cheerful midwife who handed me the hospital bag from NSW Health and my discharge papers. I was discharged officially at 07.40pm. 10 minutes after I had raised numerous concerns. I cannot fault the staff in either the birth unit, or Special Care/NICU, as they genuinely care. The maternity ward on the other hand l, managed to make a wonderful life event, more traumatic than it already was. Thankfully I was able to room in with our baby boy on the Monday night and despite the doctors strike starting that day, was allowed to take our beautiful boy home by 11.00am.